Ink Blots

I’ll Be Damned

Posted by: paperpen on: 30 October, 2009

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Tim McGraw’s She’s My Kind Of Rain started playing and I couldn’t help but think on how far I’ve come. Just so happens that this realisation comes at impeccable timing. My mind is pre-occupied today as it has always been since the moment I touched down in Jakarta that 17 August. But I found myself pre-occupied by another matter altogether… and I don’t know whether to be relieved, or to worry. Or should I, do I have to feel anything at all?

I’m feeling that good old all-too-familiar greenleaf anxiety when I finally acknowledge that something new is settling in. I try not to get my hopes up. Doesn’t mean I can control the jitters the way I do my hopes.

It’s funny how I found my love for the big city (very truly captured above) after I left it. Twenty-four-hour flight away. And it makes me choke everytime I see images of the city. The setting sun with the snow piling on the ground and the branches of Central Park. The setting sun over Williamsburg Bridge after a blistering day. The non-exhaustively breathtaking skyline.

My heart has grown. And I’d like to believe that it’s finally beginning to receive the treatment it deserves. It’s a slow and (I’m sure) painful process but what a friend once said is true. It could only get better from here on. And so I’ve noticed.

So I think I’m finally stumbling upon diamonds in the rough, one by one. I just have to figure out what to do with them…

… Even though I know that chances are they will eventually fall off of my hands.

Academic Siberia

Posted by: paperpen on: 22 October, 2009

The Monster That Killed The Day

six-fifteen with the sun rising
yes, I’m up up awake
putting distance to the cotton-stuffed bed

no gym regime today
collapsing on the busted spring bed
a natural instinct – a quick fix

seven, then eight ay am
up up up, no excuses
a fair notion – I’m almost procrastinating

but oi – I faced the book quarter to nine
and was shouted at two minutes in
my ‘help’ was required… right

when really, who needs three pairs of hands
detaching the hose off the hand pump?
and there goes my practice test

seven days looming
no mercy, no time-buying
no escape and no one to understand

because it’s all so easy, isn’t it?
taking an exam after years of absence
then you go and say are you sure?

clearly nothing satiates
so forgive me for destroying your pretty dream
you should’ve seen it coming

ten years and seven months ago

Flickr Photos

Material Thinking

Ross & Me

Me & Adam G.

Me & Amanda

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